The maurice (at) mac (dot) com Chronicles

Clothes make the man.

Tue, 07 May 2013 09:18:27 -0400

Dude in Bellingham, WA laid out $656.73 for men’s clothes at Nordstrom’s last night. He paid with AMEX, and had the receipt emailed to me, for some reason.

What’s an “apron toe tie”? Or do I not want to know?

Hello, it's not me.

Tue, 07 May 2013 09:16:33 -0400

Woman named Darlene keeps sending me photos of her house.

Fusion cooking

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 10:24:12 -0400

Maurice Klatt of Velbert, Germany ordered gorgonzola spinach rigatoni and chicken Kashmir for 16€.

Dude named Maurice Roncalli is a tiny bit behind on his sky.com payment. I’d let him know if...

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 13:37:14 -0400

Dude named Maurice Roncalli is a tiny bit behind on his sky.com payment. I’d let him know if I had another way of contacting him.

A dropped box

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 16:24:04 -0500

Someone named Maurice Williams has signed up for Dropbox and CloudOn (and linked them together) using my email address. I suspect he won’t find these services as useful as he’d like.

Travel arrangements

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 16:22:55 -0500

Every time a gentleman named Maurice Bouci from Beirut books a flight to Heathrow and back, he sends me the itinerary.

Desperation in Louisiana

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 11:37:04 -0500

Last night a series of automated emails from fling.com alerted me to someone having created an account there, using my email address for the account contact.

One of these emails was also an entreaty from someone calling herself something like “Sloppyhole847.” Do people really think of themselves that way? I’d prefer to think it was a bot. I wasn’t looking forward to any more of these, so I followed the Edit Account links, changed the password, and disabled notifications.

Doude’s name seems to be George, and he’s in Louisiana. If he somehow reactivates this account, I’m going to edit his profile unpleasantly.

Chip Shop

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 14:46:50 -0400

A Maurice Power somewhere in the UK is looking to have a microchip implanted in his pet.

Thanks, random French dude, for trying to reset my password so many times that my account’s...

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 12:57:21 -0400

Thanks, random French dude, for trying to reset my password so many times that my account’s locked for the next eight hours.

Show me more

Sat, 29 May 2010 14:44:05 -0400

Our Missouri friend still can’t remember his password: he hit the Missouri Access site’s password reminder function six times yesterday.

Show me (your real email address)

Thu, 13 May 2010 14:11:18 -0400

Someone who has an account at Mo-access.com has, apparently, forgotten both his password and the email address with which he signed up, because I’ve just been emailed his temporary password. I don’t have a Mo-Access card, and I don’t have a sixteen-digit account code, so this information is all useless to me.

A taxing situation (ctd)

Thu, 13 May 2010 12:54:00 -0400

Ouch! Orlandeus had both his Federal and State returns rejected. Bummer, Orl.

I’m starting to think Tax Guy is doing taxes for everyone he knows. Very kind of him, but the rejection rate is troubling.

A taxing situation

Wed, 12 May 2010 22:04:00 -0400

Yet another Louisianan—a certain “Orlandeus Powell”—has signed up for Turbotax and used this as the contact email. This is rather a late return, too.

Password reset

Tue, 11 May 2010 10:25:52 -0400

Just got another “how to reset your password” email from Apple, so someone’s just about to learn that this isn’t their account. It probably hasn’t yet dawned on them, though.

Some anonymous person who uses myboostmobile has sent me a photo...

Mon, 10 May 2010 12:46:57 -0400

Some anonymous person who uses myboostmobile has sent me a photo of a meal they ate on May 7.

OhiPad

Sat, 01 May 2010 00:43:06 -0400

Someone in the 937 area code just bought a 3G iPad. His confirmation email included his phone number, so I’ve texted him. Let’s see what happens.

Tractor retractor

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 10:04:57 -0400

A lady previously unknown to me has sent nine photographs of a tractor (presumably for sale), as well as a photo of herself (“not included in tractor pic of me lol”). I’m not in the market for either, though. She was kind enough to reply “whoops, sorry” to my email alerting her to the misdirection, so that gives one a sense of accomplishment.

Big Money

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 09:09:59 -0400

A gentleman in the Netherlands has let me in on the fact that he’s lining up investors to take a 3-5-million-Euro stake in a European technology startup. The deal involves at least four partners in three countries, and seems to have been in the works since February, if not before. So far he hasn’t acknowledged my email pointing out his misdirected send.

Reset

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 19:43:02 -0400

Someone’s trying to reset my .Mac/.Me password again. In a few more tries, it’ll be disabled for eight hours, until I verify my account ownership.

Maurice, doude, stop trying to take over my account.

DVLA WTF part 2

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 16:37:00 -0400

Here’s what I got from the DVLA. I’ve un-redacted Maurice’s last name, because eventually, he might find this page and get the actual response he intended to get:

From: DVLA Email
Subject: Re: Email DVLA - Vehicles Form 41 (KMM845563I15977L0KM)
Date: April 15, 2010 07:06:24 AM EDT
To: Maurice Ozanne
Dear Mr Ozanne

Thank you for your email received on 14/4/10. Your email reference number is [redacted].

When you apply for a tax disc using our telephone service or on our website, the vehicle’s insurance is electronically checked with the Motor Insurance Database (MID) run by the Motor Insurance Bureau (MIB).

If you have recently renewed, updated or changed the insurance policy, the vehicle details may not have been updated yet on the MID. The reason for this is that the MID only records the expiry date of the current insurance period. Once that current period ends the new insurance period updates the database.

Although, Insurance cover may have been agreed with an insurer a few days or weeks in advance of expiry of existing cover, the information is not necessarily sent to the MID until policy expires. This can take anything from a matter of days to a few weeks, depending on the insurer concerned.

It may be of help if I mention there is a legal requirement, that before any vehicle tax disc may be issued an applicant must produce, or have in place, appropriate insurance that is valid on the day the tax disc comes into force. Therefore, if your insurance is due to expire approximately the same time, both the EVL system and the Post Office® need to check the new insurance cover.

If your details on the MID have not updated, you will not be able to fill in an online taxing transaction using our electronic service, and will be required to apply for the tax disc at any tax disc issuing Post Office® branch.

Do not reply to this email. If you wish to contact us again about this response then please use our Reply Formor copy and paste the following URL in to your browser:
[redacted]
When filling in the form the email reference number [redacted] will be required.

Regards

[redacted]
Customer Enquiries Group
DVLA

Original Message Excluded: ————————————-

The original of this email was scanned for viruses by the Government Secure Intranet virus scanning service supplied by Cable&Wireless Worldwide in partnership with MessageLabs. (CCTM Certificate Number 2009/09/0052.) On leaving the GSi this email was certified virus free.
Communications via the GSi may be automatically logged, monitored and/or recorded for legal purposes.

I didn’t know the Post Office was a registered trademark in the UK, but apparently it is.